Internet girls are easier than real ones

Hi,

I had two very strange dreams last night, in the first of which I was having sex with Florence Nightingale and I had a time machine to go and pick her up, and in the second dream I was doing my ex Sarah in a bath. It was a pretty good set of dreams all in, the only drawback being that I worried that I was calling out 'Florence!' or 'Sarah!' mid dream and waking Paula. I don't think I did though luckily.

I've been talking to a 23yr old Occupational Therapist called 'Lizzy' from Ashford using the power of internet for the last couple of nights, I'll send a picture later so you can get an idea what she looks like. Not bad, a little to-close-to-my-current-girlfriend-esque for my tastes though. I've also got a 19 year old apparent slapper from Essex sending me messages; this young lady might need some more investigation I think.

Haven't heard back from Ruth since I last talked to her on MSN, and I did send her mail the other day detailing a chocolate vodka earthquake cake I found whilst looking for the idyllic town with both chocolate factory and vodka distillery rolled into one.

Also worthy of note is that Claire Lloyd has been very quiet since the experience we had the other weekend when I tried to spear her while your mum was downstairs, I think the sordid porn film feel doesn't work for women, shame though.

Another Claire to mention is also Claire Baker, who has been signed off work for two weeks with RSI. I think the concept of a 21 year old getting RSI is ridiculous, I was tempted to send her a mail asking if her wanking off sailors down the dock caused it, but decided in the end it might cause more trouble than it was worth.

Anyway, I haven't got much to report in your absence. I simply spend my time trying my seduction technique on a variety of women and drinking diet coke, it's not much of a life, but it is a life. Hooray!

I did get a tip from Ross Patience who I work with though, he has a live-in fiancee and told me that he still spends time chatting up women on the internet. His technique is a simple and abrasive one, he asks every girl he gets a lead on to send him a picture with their tits out, he has a 20 percent success rate, but I figure that's not bad going, and he told me my biggest flaw was that I'm to polite. He might just be right, considering that this is a week of EVIL, being nice to complete strangers isn't exactly the way to go.

I believe this weekend I'm going out for a drink with Dan, booze is the word. (Paula isn't going; she sours the mood with her 'are you still conscious?' attitude)

All hail Glen, for this is the week where EVIL reigned supreme.

Glen