It's a fine balance this week.

Good Evening,

I can't be sure if my act of GOOD vs. EVIL this week can be considered one or the other. This week is technically a GOOD week, and for those of you not up to speed on my lifestyle choice, each week I swap sides in the war of GOOD Vs EVIL. Last week I was EVIL and had sex with a girl in the car based solely on the fact she was born in the same year as the Tim Burton epic Batman was released. This week I am GOOD.

Now that I've brought you up to speed, the decision I have to make this week is whether splitting up with my girlfriend Paula is an act of GOOD or a self serving EVIL. I've come to the decision that the relationship isn't working and it's time to be honest and constructive and sit down and tell her that it's over because I'm leading her down a garden path, and the longer I put it off the worse it will be.

This will hurt Paula tremendously though, and so surely should have been done last week or alternatively next week? And also I look at the single life with such longing and hope which means that surely it's a selfish desire to become a bachelor again which motivates me, which can surely only be EVIL.

I just don't know any more which side I'm fighting for, but either way a choice has to be made.

Glen

Nurse Me

Good evening,

This has been a particularly GOOD week for EVIL. Today I sexually harassed a nurse trying to raise money for rag week. She was stood outside Cannon Street station in London with a bucket collecting; all she was wearing was a tiny nurse's outfit and pair of stockings. I of course gave her cause some money, but then proceeded to try and get her phone number for five minutes, eventually she relented and gave me an email address, however I think fuck_me_Im_a_sexy_nurse@hotmail.com may be a fake. We will wait and see.

It's got me to wondering how much of an injury I would need in order that I could be admitted to hospital and require a bed bath from that nurse.

Glen

16 years (nearly) since the first Batman movie

Good evening,

To start this week of EVIL I decided that I would reflect on the past achievements of film-making because it is 16 years since the first Batman was released in 1989. I was 10 years old when this monumental film was released and it got me thinking that I could now legally have consensual sex with a child born in the same year as Batman was released.

So I did.

Tonight I drove to Basildon to meet Kirsten, a 16 year old girl I met on a dating site a few weeks ago. From her web cam footage I was convinced she would put out, and she did. Although she was somewhat disturbed by me asking her to call me 'Batman' and 'Bruce' while I fucked her in the back of my car, which incidentally I had affectionately named 'the bat mobile' for the evening, it was a successful act of EVIL, and I left her at a service station car park dutifully promising never to call her again.

I am now watching Batman whilst typing this entry, and trying to find a girl who I could paint a joker face on and smack around a bit, Gotham style.

Michael Keaton was the best fucking Batman, bar none. He rocks. Anyone who wants to argue that can kiss my ass.

Glen

Good Friday

Good Evening

I helped a chinaman carry his suitcases to the train on Wednesday other than that I've been reasonably EVIL for the rest of the week. I'm in a black mood since Paula lost her job, so being GOOD isn't coming easily.

Glen

Internet girls are easier than real ones

Hi,

I had two very strange dreams last night, in the first of which I was having sex with Florence Nightingale and I had a time machine to go and pick her up, and in the second dream I was doing my ex Sarah in a bath. It was a pretty good set of dreams all in, the only drawback being that I worried that I was calling out 'Florence!' or 'Sarah!' mid dream and waking Paula. I don't think I did though luckily.

I've been talking to a 23yr old Occupational Therapist called 'Lizzy' from Ashford using the power of internet for the last couple of nights, I'll send a picture later so you can get an idea what she looks like. Not bad, a little to-close-to-my-current-girlfriend-esque for my tastes though. I've also got a 19 year old apparent slapper from Essex sending me messages; this young lady might need some more investigation I think.

Haven't heard back from Ruth since I last talked to her on MSN, and I did send her mail the other day detailing a chocolate vodka earthquake cake I found whilst looking for the idyllic town with both chocolate factory and vodka distillery rolled into one.

Also worthy of note is that Claire Lloyd has been very quiet since the experience we had the other weekend when I tried to spear her while your mum was downstairs, I think the sordid porn film feel doesn't work for women, shame though.

Another Claire to mention is also Claire Baker, who has been signed off work for two weeks with RSI. I think the concept of a 21 year old getting RSI is ridiculous, I was tempted to send her a mail asking if her wanking off sailors down the dock caused it, but decided in the end it might cause more trouble than it was worth.

Anyway, I haven't got much to report in your absence. I simply spend my time trying my seduction technique on a variety of women and drinking diet coke, it's not much of a life, but it is a life. Hooray!

I did get a tip from Ross Patience who I work with though, he has a live-in fiancee and told me that he still spends time chatting up women on the internet. His technique is a simple and abrasive one, he asks every girl he gets a lead on to send him a picture with their tits out, he has a 20 percent success rate, but I figure that's not bad going, and he told me my biggest flaw was that I'm to polite. He might just be right, considering that this is a week of EVIL, being nice to complete strangers isn't exactly the way to go.

I believe this weekend I'm going out for a drink with Dan, booze is the word. (Paula isn't going; she sours the mood with her 'are you still conscious?' attitude)

All hail Glen, for this is the week where EVIL reigned supreme.

Glen

Evil ways to annoy your girlfriend

Good Evening,

This week is an EVIL week; let me once again explain how this works. On alternate weeks I am GOOD and then EVIL. Last week I was good, and so this week I am EVIL.

Today my girlfriend asked me if I'd still marry her if she was fat. Because this is an EVIL week, I of course said 'No way'. This pissed her off considerably, but not enough for her to stop wanting to marry me. I've only got three days left of being EVIL this week so I need to try and upset my girlfriend enough to the point where she realises that marrying me would be like chewing an arm off.

Glen

I was GOOD this week by not being a dumb ass

Good evening,

I have done very little GOOD this week. I had two arguments with my girlfriend, which were - with hindsight - completely my fault, and I've generally milled about doing nothing much of any importance. It's not that I have been EVIL this week; it's just that I've not made any GOOD gestures either.

It's Friday today anyway, so I've resolved to apologise unreservedly to my girlfriend for being a dick, and make a few more gestures for GOOD to make this week of GOODNESS worthwhile.

I've just got home and found out that my girlfriend has lost her job, if this were an EVIL week, I'd tell her to get down McDonalds flipping burgers to pay the bills or get the hell out of my house. But because it's a GOOD week my one half decent act of GOOD and hugged her, told her it's going to be OK, and started mailing her curriculum vitae to all and sundry.

Have a great weekend everyone, be GOOD to each other.

Glen

Biblical implications of being a bad-ass

Good morning,

As I sit here doing nothing this morning, I thought I'd look at what the bible has to say about GOOD Vs. EVIL. I've copied a few excerpts from the 'Children's big bumper bible book' to illustrate:

"Beware of false teachers who come disguised as harmless sheep, but are wolves and will tear you apart. You can detect them by the way they act, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit. You need never confuse grapevines with thorn bushes or figs with thistles. Different kinds of fruit trees can quickly be identified by examining their fruit. A variety that produces delicious fruit never produces an inedible kind. And a tree producing an inedible kind can't produce what is good. So the trees having the inedible fruit are chopped down and thrown on the fire. Yes, the way to identify a tree or a person is by the kind of fruit produced. "Not all who sound religious are really godly people. They may refer to me as 'Lord,' but still won't get to heaven. For the decisive question is whether they obey my Father in heaven. At the Judgment many will tell me, 'Lord, Lord, we told others about you and used your name to cast out demons and to do many other great miracles.' But I will reply, 'You have never been mine. Go away, for your deeds are evil.'

(TLB, Matthew 7:15-23)

Not to sure what that's all about, I liked the part about 'false teachers disguised as sheep' though. I found that moderately amusing. The rest of this passage is about fruit trees, and telling which is which, I think I would have used a better analogy, but I suspect whoever wrote this was drunk at the time. And now a little something from Luke:

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

(NIV, Luke 6:45)

This seems to be an attempt to point out the obvious, and could have been cut down in length to "Good Heart=Good Mouth or Bad Heart=Bad Mouth" I appreciate this wouldn't have been as poetic, but it would saved a lot of time. And I think to wrap up this entry; I will finish off with a bit of Isaiah:

"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; who substitute bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and clever in their own sight!"

(NAS, Isaiah 5:20-21)

If I wanted to have some 'woe' this would be perfect entry for me, I like this one best.

Glen

My punishment for being EVIL

Good evening,

This is the penultimate day of me being EVIL, and it would seem I am being punished by whoever controls the Karma.

I was having a romantic moment with my girlfriend and I convinced her to perform oral sex on me in the kitchen. However her socks seem to have conducted some static electricity, which passed from her mouth to my penus shocking us both.

As you can imagine, having electric shocks to your penus is an 'each to their own' type of thing, and not mine or my girlfriend's style, so it sort of ruined the mood.

I also committed another act of EVIL this afternoon whilst my girlfriend and I were at the cinema, she asked if I wanted a drink before we went into the movie, and I said no, and then 3 minutes before it started I asked her to get me a diet coke. She told me to go and get it myself, but I protested strongly on the following grounds:

A) She was nearest to the aisle
B) I paid for the tickets, and so she should pay for the coke
C) If she demanded that I went at and got it, I would make her drive next time we went and pay for the tickets

She relented and went and got the coke, and it was all the sweeter for having sent her.

Another act of EVIL I've been committing during the week is convincing people they've said things they actually haven't.

For example, I started laughing at work the other day for no reason, when asked what I was laughing at, I responded embarrassed 'At what you just said!', the person involved looked confused, and wasn't quite sure what they'd said, and I kept this up for about 5 minutes until they were convinced they were saying things out loud and then forgetting they'd said them.

I plan on sitting around a lot tomorrow and eating, I would consider this a small act of gluttony, whether that can be counted as EVIL, I'm not sure. But I do know that being lazy and pissing off my girlfriend is as EVIL as it gets.

Glen

Not that EVIL this week

Good afternoon,

This week of EVIL has not seen me up to much. I've tried hard but achieved little. I've been trying to convince several women I work with to ditch their boyfriends and shack up with me, needless to say I failed in this as I think people need more than a little subtle persuasion to make life altering decisions.

My girlfriend gave her piano away to someone last night, so I had to question her sanity as it's quite an expensive item to just give away. I could have done this in a nice fashion, but seeing as this is the week of EVIL I said 'Are you out of your fucking mind?!' This seemed to upset her for about ten minutes, and after that she seemed not that bothered. Whether this is an act of EVIL is debatable I suppose.

I think I need to get more people to start living in this one week of GOOD, one week of EVIL fashion, this will ensure that there are a fresh flow of ideas coming in, so I can never run out of EVIL or GOOD acts to carry out.

Glen